1. @RobSprance Rob Sprance
I fully support the pink movement, but when is nut cancer going to get some love?

2. @TimDuffy Tim Duffy
I’m not really into things that work anyway. Thanks #BlackBerry.

3. @thedeskchicken thedeskchicken
Herman Cain has 999 problems but getting elected ain’t one.

4. @thedeskchicken thedeskchicken
Woke up and immediately regretted it. Now I know how women feel after sleeping with me.

5.  @statusmessages
Facebook needs to change its “it’s complicated” status to “still banging my ex. #funny

6. @ShawneeeToots La Kwanda
MICHALE JACKSON’S SON GOT A HEAD LIKE A BAKED POTATO

7.@rosesurnow Rose Surnow
My dermatologist told me I have Rosaysha. “I have a new sassy black best friend!” “No, it’s a skin condition, you get red.” Booooo

8. @BIGMOMMAPRODS PATRICE ONEAL
I save these kinds of statements for one white person each calendar year. I Fuckin hope Tim Tebow dominates the NFL.

9. @FATJEW The Fat Jew
In retrospect, pouring out liquor onto my laptop in memory of Steve Jobs was a terrible idea.

10. @Joan_Rivers Joan Rivers
My mother told me that a Bat Mitzvah was a right of passage for Jewish girls, along with faking your first orgasm.