Since I've become become the head of booking on The Comedy Point, I've become very active on Twitter. (Follow me @TheHouseofVon) I've suggested The Comedy Point read the Top 10 Tweets of The Week LIVE every Tuesday 5 to 8pm! Think your Tweet is Top 10 worthy? Get @TheHouseofVon‘s attention or Tweet @TheComedyPoint.

Top 10 Tweets 11/15/2011

@Benny_Smalls Ben Small

Hey, women that change their profile to sonogram pictures! It’s only beautiful to you! Keep it to yourselves!

 

@DougBenson Doug Benson

Hey, if you’re drunk, now is probably a good time to go to iTunes and download everything I’ve ever done. #RegretsAreHealthy #ThanksDrunky

 

@kellyoxford kelly oxford

A sure sign that a woman’s Facebook profile picture isn’t pretty, is having 50 comments from other women telling them how pretty they look.

 

@pattonoswalt Patton Oswalt

Daughter just saw me in a tux & yelled, “Wanna wear a costume TOO!” then she took off her diaper & put on a pirate hat.

 

@MelleDoles Melle Doles Equis II

Always carry ear phones to drown out the whiny voices that come out of elderly people

 

@BradolphPittler Kelly K’Meowski™

If Kim Kardashian doesn’t want to look plus sized she should never wear flats….or her body.

 

@Petey_E Pete

If my wife ever finds sobriety, she’s bound to realize I’ve been lying to her about how good looking I am

@Chrsharbert bustermcthunderstick

If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be “Think of how great this will look in the background of your social networking pics.”

@IGotsSmarts Steve M*******ski

If you’re going to be a ninja, NEVER wear corduroy!

@Coastiefish Matt Smith

Hey guys whose girlfriends wear those giant t-shirts as nightgowns, one day you’ll be married, and that shirt’s going to fit her.